My Sincere Wish for A New Beginning

You know, I am a very simple person. To some people, this might be laughable, how can you be a simple person with all that you are doing?

But I am. The closest people to me would know that. I do not aspire for fame, power or wealth for to me, these are empty. They do not mean anything.

What is the purpose of life? To pursue wealth, to feel rich or to have power over others? No, this is not what I believe in.

Several years ago, I started on my path of self-awakening. What do I want as a person? What is my purpose in life? What would give meaning to what I do?

As I learnt, I learned to smile at myself, to give thanks and to feel grateful to life, even now. No matter what happens or will happen, things happen because they are an opportunity for me to learn, yes, even now.

And I realise for myself that the purpose of living is to be connected to myself, to be connected within, to feel the truth, speak the truth and be the truth.

I realise that life is about being honest to yourself and doing what is right.

But what is right? I do not know. For we all perceive righteousness from our own coloured perceptions. What is right to me might not be right to you, and conversely so. But I do believe in the age-old saying, and more and more so understand, do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

For it is true. Why would I wish on someone what I would not wish on myself?

And I believe that to be in this life, to live, is to learn to be human, or perhaps to learn humanity, to learn to be kind, compassionate and caring to another.

I say I am a simple person also because I do not have ambitions. No matter what I do, I do it because it feels right, because it feels like my purpose to do, sometimes because it is a duty, as it is now.

I do things because I feel that if I can make things better in my ability to do so, I should.

Someone told me, then it is not that you are a simple person. You have a complex mind but you believe in living simply. Perhaps he is right. It excites me to be able to understand how things work, how society has evolved, how things have changed and how they will change.

In that sense, I always have hope, always have hope that one day, things can get better, as they have and as they will.

And it is this hope and this belief that keeps me going, and believing, that we can change things, and make things work for the better.

But it is not in my interest to hurt another. Perhaps some might not think so, feeling to be on the other side. They might ask, why are you trying to bring me down, why are you trying to destroy what I have built?

But I seek not that, but I seek a better future. For I believe, do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

Why would I want to hoard over wealth and greed, and in so doing, knowingly deprive another of their livelihood? Why would I want to perceive another to be lazy, to justify for my accumulation of wealth?

But if one is able to earn his riches, and still observe for others, if one is able to, amidst the riches she earns, look out for those around him or her, and allow them to as well grow in abundance, respected and loved, then one has done his or her due diligence as a person and the wealth earned, an honourable one.

And this is what I believe in.

But from the other side, they might ask, how sincere is your belief, when because of what you do, I am being hurt. Now that the truth is out and others know what I am doing, how am I going to save my face? How am I going to continue to live, without feeling that I have lost my face?

They might ask, if you would not want to lose your face, why would you want that of me? Is that not selfish?

Perhaps, but I am not at the level of enlightenment, for I am learning as a person, as a human.

And when I see injustice, from my own self-righteous view, I want to fight for the truth, for freedom.

Some might think, what makes your right more so than my right? No, it does not. My right is not better than yours, nor yours than mine.

Perhaps some might call me stubborn, but in my self-righteousness and my eagerness to set right what I believe, I justify that if I can fight for truth and justice, I would be able to help more people, to allow more people to be free.

Yet is this not what the other believe as well?

Indeed, if so, what am I fighting for? For myself? For others? For the truth? Or just for self-righteousness?

Perhaps then, it’s empathy.

In my own belief of do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you, I believe that I should have the empathy to understand the lives of another, as with the experiences I have been through, and to understand how it would feel, so that I would treat others with the same respect as I would have wished another would have accorded to me.

And perhaps then, as I would want to believe I empathise with the poor and marginalised, perhaps I should similarly show empathy for the rich.

But I have to admit the difficulty of doing so, for I am not rich and do not plan to be. A lack of ambition, the rich might say of me, that is why you cannot understand us, and perhaps I cannot as well understand the hoarding of wealth.

But not all rich are as such. I have met many of the rich who have similarly shown compassion and a willingness to share in their wealth. Let us pay more taxes, let us help the poor, they say. I have earned the wealth also because of those of others who have worked for me and with me, and so it is only right that I give back, they say. Indeed, there are those among the rich who care and have a heart not just for themselves, but for others and an inspiration to emulate.

But them I empathise not in their wealth, but in their want for others to get better, and not just for themselves, which is admirable.

And I ask, is this something too much to ask for? To want better for another?

I am not angry with the PAP and the ministers or the rich affiliated to them, who have enriched themselves with our money. But I do ask, with the wealth they have hoarded, are they still in a position to ask for self-reliance, when in their positions, self-reliance becomes a frivolous thought.

In a world ruled by money, for the rich among us, self-reliance is a feat easily accomplished like no other. But for the poor, self-reliance becomes murder, for the money I do not have will become a decision between life and death, as so many have been made to choose, to live or to die, and in worse instances, whether to kill my offspring or not, to prevent them from further hardship?

I do, I do try hard to understand the rich who rule in our government, who have made themselves our government and dictated our society by their values and mores, but that has become a society where one can only get ahead and be self-reliant is where one belongs to the rich, and the richest among them, the ten or fifteen percent, then what of the others whose values differ and for whom self-reliance have seen their difficult lives suffer?

To which then, has the PAP shown empathy?

In my self-righteousness, I apologise, for I choose to believe that as much as I have difficulty empathising with their (PAP’s) lives, they as much have difficulty understanding mine and the large majority of us, who struggle with our lives in a system the PAP has distorted.

But this I do not blame them, but the narrow frame of empathy that has enshrouded them within, as it has mine.

If so, this does not make me a better person, nor does it make them. But neither does it make them worse, or me a worse person as well.

It makes us human, for are we not all learning how to become better people, as I believe they would want to be as well.

How then do we a system make where the empathy of another magnified by the connection of us all, and enshroud us in an empathy that is far and wide, such that a system we create will uplift the lives not of some, but in our compassion and care for another, will allow us all to grow together?

Perhaps it is in this desire that I fight, for if the limitations of my empathy as a human-bodied person prevent me from having the full understanding of another, as they have similarly compromised the ability of that of the PAP, then such limitations can be overcome if we are able to expose ourselves to more of one another, to give ourselves an opportunity to truly understand, instead of close ourselves to the realities when we become uncomfortable of the truths.

Thus a government not made by a singular view, but one that is exercised by several views, one made by different people, with different beliefs, one made by different parties, representing different ideas.

For only a government not in the confines of one singular party and a singular ideology will thoughts and expressions flourish, and will the empathy be magnified by the acknowledgement of not just some or whom we call the elites today, but of many others, like you and I.

Where a government which truly represents the whole of society, will allow us a chance to reshape our country, and to work with everyone to bring about change that will truly benefit all, and allow enlightenment to heal us all.

But the PAP might be uncomfortable with that, too deep within the gains of fore, but I do not wish ill on the PAP, for they are as clouded as I am, us humans trapped from our ego perspective. The mistakes we have made, we learn, we forgive, we let go and we move on stronger, together. For that is what I believe for myself, for another and for us together.

But for change to come which our country so dearly needs, it is perhaps time our people to recognise that for change to come, for our lives to get better, it means to realise that a new togetherness has to be forged, one not by awaiting for change to arrive, but for us to recognise how change should happen and bring about this change with our own guidance.

I have made peace with what is currently happening to my life right now. My only hope is that at the end of it all, our country will see a new beginning and a new way forward, not dictated by one but by all of us, in unity and in belonging, together in our diversity moulded into a new consciousness, where we would be ready to work for the well-being of not just one but of all of us together.

When we see our people move together, and the potential of our lives become a reality so much dreamt after, we can see a brighter future, where all of us will be able to pursue our purpose, for at the end of the day, is this not what life is all about?

To be born into this life, to pursue our purpose, to live our lives to the best of our abilities and potential, and to become a beautiful person and a beautiful people together?

At the end of the day, what are we really fighting for? It is not for ourselves or against another.

It is about fighting for the right to live, the chance to live and to be who we truly can be.

And if we so truly believe that, it is not just in our lives that we fight, but to know the bigger picture and in that solidarity, join hands and fight for a brighter future, for not just ourselves, but our fellow men and for the land we grow ourselves on.

Some Singaporeans are holding a candlelight vigil for me today at 7.30pm at Hong Lim Park. If you are free or nearby, do come by and say hello. The first hearing for my court case is tomorrow, on 18 September at 10am at the Supreme Court.

The Facebook event page for the candlelight vigil can be found here.

Candlelight Vigil for Roy Ngerng 1

Candlelight Vigil for Roy Ngerng 1@chinese

Candlelight Vigil for Roy Ngerng 2

Candlelight Vigil for Roy Ngerng 2@chinese

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33 comments

  1. Low LK

    Great remark! You will have all our support. Although a lot of us cannot support you openly due to some limitation. You are our new hope!

    • Jackfruit

      must draw circles around the candles with white chalk? what do u like to eat, I can bring some as offerings for u too..

  2. PAP Rulez

    For tomorrow, your knees will tremble before the one on the high chair, and you will beg for mercy before the huge portrait of the president Tony Tan and his wife.

  3. Hearts to you

    Hi Roy,

    just wish to say be strong and hold out the tide and storm. It takes great courage and grit to survive an ordeal the scale you are facing and you have earned the admiration of many who came to know your deeds and thoughts.

    I resonate with what you say. For it is not your words but rather your actions that inspire deeper thoughts and checks and scrutiny, No matter how prosperous or how developed a country is, we need vigilantes like yourself who dares give a face to public discourse and who lend their voices to others for a cause they are strongly convinced. It is an uphill task but hopefully not a lonely one. It is not so much the rigorousness of your contents, after all you are just a single person mustering all this materials of thought provoking standards. But it is the fact that you are so worthy of so much more and so much better than many undeservings who ought to be doing your role – questioning, challenging, inquiring. Simply put – Civil servants, paid to serve their civic duty as goalkeepers, as checkpoints, as guardians who instead, are allowed to laze, to squander, to loot, to fail or to float and yet tapping and drawing their ridiculous salaries which just keep getting revised upwards needlessly time and again for undue and unsubstantiated reasons.

    Indeed in life, it is frustrating and ironic that someone of your calibre, your talents end up facing great odds due to your courage to stand up to be counted. It shouldn’t be this way. For you are only doing this, because those who ought to be doing what you do, are regrettably not doing their rightful part.

    Are they brided into silence? Or are they shrouded by self-interests. Or are they too absorbed into milking this gravy train that promises endless rewards so long as they remain meek and compliant? You, instead of being sued, should instead be getting paid or praised by the government for doing so much research and raising so much valid pointers that many in their respective capacity either knew or realised all along deep down but are just too apathetic or maybe self-serving to raise. Why rock the boat that has been paying them so handsomely in return for their compliance and full obedience?

    If our society still cherishes traits of selflessness, values of vigilance, courage and most of all fairness, please do not let this man falls. Let him do what he does best – raising awareness and provoking our thoughts. The society will be for the better, if we can always be assured that there is someone who can be counted on who will always point out where we fail to see or are simply too caught up in our rat race to realise. Let the rigours of proving or disproving, where circumstantially warranted, be the task of resourceful think tanks, but the thoughts and ideas from this beautiful mind, flows without ebbs.

    All the best.

  4. landragon123

    Why mention the President, the silent President as he was supposed to protect and look after or money with the PAP. But he as the former DPM, just sit back and relax as he have nothing to say like the recount of the ballots on the day of the Presidental elections and he was narrowly win or lost we do not KNOW???l

  5. Lawlessness

    Murder is a serious charge. If you are not angry, presumably, in your self righteousness, you have made peace with them?

    “And I ask, is this something too much to ask for? To want better for another?

    I am not angry with the PAP and the ministers or the rich affiliated to them, who have enriched themselves with our money. But I do ask, with the wealth they have hoarded, are they still in a position to ask for self-reliance, when in their positions, self-reliance becomes a frivolous thought.

    In a world ruled by money, for the rich among us, self-reliance is a feat easily accomplished like no other. But for the poor, self-reliance becomes MURDER, for the money I do not have will become a decision between life and death, as so many have been made to choose, to live or to die, and in worse instances, whether to kill my offspring or not, to prevent them from further hardship?

    I do, I do try hard to understand the rich who rule in our government, who have made themselves our government and dictated our society by their values and mores, but that has become a society where one can only get ahead and be self-reliant is where one belongs to the rich, and the richest among them, the ten or fifteen percent, then what of the others whose values differ and for whom self-reliance have seen their difficult lives suffer?”

    • landragon123

      When we left Malaysia, we see our 1st PM shed tears and lost his words and balance for a moment. That is the true emotion of a man who love his country and an ideal for a better Singapore.
      Been a lawyer and with the help with his lawyer wife they introduced laws to govern Singapore as a Police Country, with power to the Police to enforce laws that are powerful and good, the 55, the internal security act are examples of GOOD laws to rule the lawless. Gangsters and wild politicians are those who have to deal with and these law did a good job and we are free of tugs.

      I feel sorry for some of these politicians, but as a good government, it have to be high handed and tough to does good for a country which was corrupted since the British rules. Gangsters disappear and we can walk the street even in the middle of the night without fear. The tourist who came here always said 2 great things about Singapore, a Clean and Green country and very safe county any time.

      We are proud of it in LEE KUAN YEW tough hands. But there one thing his neighbor regret to be his neighbors as they are no allow to have windows facing his PRISON Home. Why, he is afraid to die and introduce every thing possible to prevent it. That I say is the most
      STUPID of him, and until today at 91 still have guarded Prisons and few body guards to sent him to SGH Block 7 for his medical. Mr. Lee sir, if there are any one out there to kill YOU, you will be dead long time ago. To live to your age is faith, whether you believe it or not. You consult Feng-shui master but said you do not believe, You sent your beloved wife away with funeral services and saif you do not believe in God as I think YOU believe you are GOD yourself. There are no living gods but gods in the Northern SKY where good people of the pass goes to. These are our gods which we Taoism Believer pray to, our ancestors.

      It was when your sick and cancel son took over and after he sack YOU, the whole of Singapore turned upside down. The layman in the street does not know. With multi businesses it deals with different Ministries, and almost all of them are CRRUPTED now. I have proofs of it and have made reports about it but the police just sit on it. I went to Meet the People sessions a few times. Only one was done effectively and the rest are still pending after 1 year.

      When will we get out of these lapses by the Government Ministries and Department and even Non Government Profit organization? I believe a new Indian PM can do the job to clean Singapore again to get back our good old days.The last corrupted department which was setup called CEA is Corrupted Estate Agency, with rules that are never heard off and use out sourced bill collector to chase for the fee payable.

      Many other departments did the same including SPH who issued Lawyers letters for less than 2 months outstanding and charge the lawyer’s fee into the bill.

      These are just some of many other instant which I have encounter and I believe all are cause by an incompetent PM with is too sick to take care???

      • OhNo

        You ever see dogs kill each other over crumbs? Your daughters and wives will realized their dreams of being maids and prostitutes while your sons and fathers peddle them on the streets!

  6. The Oracle

    A well written (I’ll give Roy that much) but obvious attempt to paint himself as a victim who is being persecuted for his beliefs. Unfortunately for Roy, his own past blogs make it very clear he isn’t looking for any kind of compromise with the government and he accuses or blames the government for everything real or otherwise that Roy thinks is wrong in Singapore.

    The end result is about as predictable as a three year old smacking a grizzly bear.

    • Judy Lim

      There are always two sides to a coin. What you write is your personal bias opinion. I can also say that LHL try to paint himself as victim by claiming to be defamed. You are the only one who think he is looking for trouble. But what he says echo with people on the ground, he is just taking the lead because the rest of us bury our head in sand to avoid persecution. On the other hand, you who stand with the PAP, should identify yourself, put up your photo proudly and get rewarded. Don’t be a coward. Roy is a hero amongst us, you are a coward hiding under the lap of the PAP government and barking incessantly to get noticed.

      • johnpaul2013balong143n

        Sorry what he do doesn’t echo people on the ground and 100% not me so please do not group us together as I will not anyhow defame pple. Do you mean you are the same with him defame pple?? and spoke of nonsense and need some donations also??

      • Rachel Tan

        Count me in, Judy. I read that article and find nothing defamatory. The silent majority that I have spoken to agree with my assessment too. Sometimes a person’s self consciousness may make him interpret things differently than the rest of us.

    • There Are No Compromises With A PAP Govt

      Engaging them in a CON-versation is a waste of time.
      Just focus on converting more PAP voters into Opposition voters.

      There can be no NEW beginning.
      When an old horror still lives.

    • Xmen

      @Oracle,

      This is a frivolous lawsuit in any other country, including the UK where you lived years ago. You are such a pitiful soul like your LHL.

    • The Oracle

      @Judy Lim (or whoever you really are)
      I see you are engaging in the typical crap common of Roy’s followers – accusing me of “barking” is a clear reference to past insults calling anybody who dares criticise Roy a PAPdog. How easily the façade falls away to reveal Roy’s true face!

      There are plenty of people who criticise the PAP but who can also see Roy’s “cure” is worse than the ailment.

      • ken

        So the rich enriched themselves with your money? You think too highly of yourself. You are obviously a moron.

      • Rachel Tan

        This is a good example of a self conscious individual planting a straw man to label himself a dog in order to cast aspersion on the original commentator.

      • Judy Lim

        Nice catch, Rachel. I was actually thinking of Cynomys when I wrote that comment. It is a kind of rodent, 35cm tall and that likes to burrow itself. Oh yes, it does bark like a dog 🙂

      • reply "The Oracle",

        1.
        Roy’s followers – the people of the Singaporeans !
        2.
        Roy’s true face! — the people of the Singaporeans true face
        3. those face, not included you, PAP MP, members, selfish team occupied our CPF for their own interests.

        李光耀开口要天价的时候, 说为了确保最好 ?
        最好 ? 经不起人们的质疑 ?是最好 ? 把有疑问的人们送去法庭受折磨,李显龙这小子自己带着老婆去游山玩水。危害人民,修理人民,折磨人民,让人们怕他 ?他玩法庭玩到爽, 上天还是有办法惩罚李显龙。 谁都无法与天意作对.

        When Lee Kuan Yew opened his lion mouth for demanding an huge price, just in order to ensure the best?

        The best? Can not stand people questioned?
        Is the best?

        throwing people to the court for torment, is the best ?

        Lee Hsien Loong the shit man in the Court time , went for sightseeing with his wife, this Lee family Harm people, repair people, torture people, very skillful .

        he enjoy people be afraid of him?
        He played Singapore Court like his house keeping.

        God still have a way to punish Lee Hsien Loong. No one can resist an act of God

  7. We Don't Want A National Conversation

    We want a national audit of our Singapore Reserves.
    Audit.
    Audit.
    Audit.
    Audit.
    Shout “AUDIT” at the next Opposition political rally in GE 2016.

    • Audit Lee's account

      agreed. it is definitely !
      new leaders, have the same power and right to take office of the national services, police team, government welfare GIC and Temasek, if someone try to transfer into the own package, we send them with life sentences .

  8. 向老人家问好

    (联合早报讯)高庭法官李兆坚今早在内堂就是否针对李显龙总理起诉博客鄞义林诽谤的案件作即席判决,听了双方律师的陈情。他决定保留判决,择日下判。
    代表李显龙总理的高级律师文达星和代表鄞义林的律师拉维,今早向法官作了三小时半的陈词。
    鄞义林的父母、姐姐及20多名支持者,在法庭外给他精神上的支持。
    今年5月15日,鄞义林在署名博客“The Heart Truths”刊登一则题为“你的公积金款项去了哪里?城市丰收教会审讯的启示”的博文,影射李总理身为新加坡政府投资公司(GIC)主席,失信了国人公积金户头里的款项。
    三天后(18日),李总理向他发出律师信,并于同月29日正式起诉鄞义林。这是本地领导人首次向涉嫌诽谤他的博客发出诉状,索取赔偿。
    上月17日,鄞义林在答辩书中称,既然他已承认对李总理的指责是虚假且毫无根据的,李总理就没有起诉他和要求赔偿的必要与理由。
    他的另一论据是,在接到李总理的律师信后,已应总理要求公开道歉、删除四则相关博文,并承诺今后不再做出同样指责。(本报记者:游润恬)

    —————— ????????????????

    什么时候有属于新加坡人民自己的报纸啊,李家拿人民公积金的利益买下了联合早报,因此,自说自话吧。
    让我们来拆穿西洋镜:
    1)
    这是本地领导人首次向涉嫌诽谤他的博客发出诉状,索取赔偿。
    ——– 错, 这是李家第24次拿国人的钱,告国人。创下国家领导人告人民次数最多百科大全世界第一大奖

    2)
    李总理向他发出律师信,索取赔偿。

    ————– 对, 他李总理像一个无业的国民开口要钱, 他怎么开的出口呢 ?人们对他拿天价20万月薪早就不满了,他还嫌Roy赔给他5000新币不够 ?这到底是就绑匪嘛, 联合早报只讲对李家有利, 对人民不利。真相只写一半。虚伪。

    3)
    在接到李总理的律师信后,已应总理要求公开道歉、删除四则相关博文,并承诺今后不再做出同样指责。
    ———— 不够,这已经不是Roy个人的问题,
    新加坡不是李显龙的, 也不是Roy的, 是人民的。现在人民要审计淡马锡,
    没有审计淡马锡, 新加坡人CPF被骗案没有揭晓。

    4)
    鄞义林的父母、姐姐及20多名支持者,在法庭外给他精神上的支持。
    ———— 这一行字才是唯一温暖动情之处,也感动我们, 向老人家问好, 我们祝福老人家健康长寿。
    要乐观起来,您们的儿子又有很多发展空间,将大有出息 。

  9. landragon123

    Roy is never a cure, but a beginning for the starting of the end of PAP rules, to find and focus on new abilities of new leaders who are willing to step forward to serve the people like Mr. Lui of the workers party.

  10. teoenming

    Singapore Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew and Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong Want Teo En Ming Dead

    Singapore Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew and Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong want Teo En Ming dead. Lee Kuan Yew and Lee Hsien Loong want Teo En Ming to die young. I am only 36 years old. I do not want to die young. I want to live to a hundred years old and beyond!!!

    Teo En Ming has filed an official complaint against the Singapore Government at the United Nations Human Rights Council Branch and the International Criminal Court. Read the letter here:

    **********************************************************************************************************************
    **********************************************************************************************************************
    **********************************************************************************************************************

    Teo En Ming’s Open Letter (Plea for Medical Help/Assistance) to World Leaders dated 27 Aug 2010. Read the letter here:

    http://lists.mcs.anl.gov/pipermail/mpich-discuss/2010-August/007811.html

    Mr. Teo En Ming (Zhang Enming)
    Singapore Citizen
    Republic of Singapore

  11. landragon123

    Mr. Teo , if you die young you will be a lucky man for good people dies young to stop the suffering of life. LKY is suffering for he do not want to die and have to live in a Prison all his live. Goes to SGH so often that it is like his Second Home. May I suggest he go live in it like the King of Thailand and conduct the unrest in Bangkok to look like REAL.
    The new Heart Centre is now ready, may I suggest you live there with Beautiful Nurses to care for you 24/7 and if the 2nd pacer stops again you can be save in time to live till a Centurion.

  12. Pingback: The Singapore Prime Minister Takes Issue with 9 More of My Articles to Pay His Lawyers $50,000 | The Heart Truths
  13. Pingback: The Singapore Prime Minister Takes Issue with 9 More of My Blog Articles to Pay His Lawyers $50,000 | The Heart Truths

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