Every woman’s dream is to be in a romantic relationship with a guy who gives her his undivided attention. While this dream may come true, sometimes you may experience situations in your relationship that may cause your boyfriend to pull away.
In such a situation, you have to learn how to turn the tables fast and have him chasing you again. This article teaches you how to turn the tables when he pulls away.
Tips on How to Turn the Tables When He Pulls Away
Whether you’ve just started seeing each other or you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it hurts to see your boyfriend pulling away from you, especially when you’re not sure what you did to push him away. When this happens, the best thing to do is to turn the tables on him. Here are the most effective ways to turn the tables on your guy when he pulls away.
1. Keep Your Cool
Freaking out when your boyfriend pulls away from you won’t solve the situation. In most cases, it only aggravates it further, creating a deeper rift between the two of you. So, try as much as possible to keep your cool, even when you feel like exploding.
You need to understand that sometimes he may act distant because of situations that have nothing to do with you. He could be dealing with a stressful family or work-related issue. Your boyfriend may act distant because he needs space and wishes to have some alone time.
So, instead of throwing tantrums, talk to him calmly about how you feel about his behavior and allow him to explain why he’s acting distant. You can even leave him alone for a while to allow him to deal with the situation that’s bothering him. Confronting him immediately and acting out of haste will only make the situation worse.
2. Observe Him Keenly
When your boyfriend suddenly starts to act distant, it may trigger traumas from your past heartbreaks and revive your deepest fears. Unfortunately, overthinking won’t make the situation less painful. The best thing to do is to observe him keenly and try to understand why he could be pulling away.
By observing his actions, you’ll realize what you did wrong. You may also discover that the reason why he’s acting distant has nothing to do with you. But you can’t know this for sure if you don’t take the time to analyze his behavior.
You might also realize that he’s acting distant because he has insecurities that he needs to get over. It could also be related to something you did or said. You can only learn these things if you observe him patiently without bursting out.
3. Make Him Notice You
Winning him back when he pulls away from you isn’t a one-day affair; it requires effort and persistence. You can start by doing something sweet and kind for him. This will grab his attention and remind him that there’s someone who still cares for him.
You can even send him a romantic text to rekindle the love you once had for each other. Try to do things that will make him feel special and cheerful. This is also the time to try new things in bed if you’re already intimate with him.
Relationship experts argue that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. So, a delicious meal served in a special way is a quick way to grab his attention. If you have a way with words, try to sweet-talk him into opening up about why he has been acting distant. Also, find ways to appreciate him for everything he has done for you.
4. Talk to Him
As mentioned above, sometimes a man may pull away from you without realizing it. So, before you burst out with rage and all manner of accusations, it’s good to talk to him calmly and respectfully to try and find out why he’s acting that way. You might be surprised to learn that he doesn’t even know that he has pulled away from you.
You can either have a one-on-one conversation, a phone call, or a chat with him. This is not the time to throw all manner of accusations at him because they’ll only escalate the situation, making it difficult for him to open up to you. Use this time to let him know how you feel about his behavior.
You can say things like, “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately”, “I think our emotional intimacy is taking a hit”, or “I feel like you’ve been pulling away and we need to try and rebuild our relationship.” Such statements will make it easy for him to open up.
5. Give Him Time and Space
Sometimes your man may not tell you point-blank why he’s pulling away, even after having a conversation with him. Instead of feeling frustrated and trying to force him to talk, just give him time and space. Compelling him to give you more attention won’t work either.
Giving him space will help him to feel the void in your relationship. You shouldn’t be the only one trying to make the relationship work. It takes both of you to fill the gap. As he takes a break, he’ll have time to analyze his thoughts and feelings and gather enough courage to talk about the situation.
Perhaps he’s acting distant because he needs a break. It’s normal for people in a romantic relationship to want to take a break from each other. So, you should also take that opportunity to process your feelings and desires, as well as discover ways to strengthen your relationship.
6. Never Chase Him
If he still acts distant even after doing all the nice things for him, stop chasing him. This may sound too drastic but it’s quite effective. If he doesn’t show interest in you, act like he no longer exists. It’ll serve as a wake-up call.
Chasing him when he’s not interested in you will only push him further away because it’ll make him feel shut in. Furthermore, you might end up wasting your time and energy chasing someone who has already moved on.
7. Be Busy
Instead of sitting down and letting the stress eat you up, find something to keep yourself busy. You can go out with friends and have fun, learn a new skill, go to the gym, or find a new hobby that will help you forget about him. This will show him that the world didn’t stop because he stopped loving you.
Don’t be surprised when he starts to chase you. Just continue living your life, especially if you know it’s not your fault. Relationship experts argue that success is the best revenge.
8. Date another Guy
This may sound cold but it works. Men are built to guard what they love jealously. So, if he truly loves you, he won’t let you spend a minute with another man. Dating another man is an effective way to turn the tables, especially if you are not the reason why he’s acting distant.
He shouldn’t expect you to just sit there and tolerate his uncaring attitude, even when you’ve tried working things out. Dating someone else will help him to realize that you are human and desire love and affection.
9. Manage Your Feelings
When he finally comes back to his senses and wants to come back, you might be overwhelmed by emotions. However, learn to manage your feelings at this point to avoid getting disappointed again. You might get mixed emotions depending on the situation you’re dealing with.
For instance, you may feel thrilled that he’s finally back and angry that he pulled away from you. So, this is not the time to vent your anger and negative emotions. It’s also not the time to jump up and down trying to show him how desperately waited for him to come back. Try to manage your feelings and be calm.