Kao Pei Kao Bu But at What Costs? You Want Pastel Colour-Haji Lane?

Aiyoh, Singapolean ah, the ministers say something, then you not happy, then you scold them, complain about them, then you start to cry mother, cry father, until you think the ministers will be scared ah?

Eh, please lah hor, our ministers also very keh kiang one lor. You think after you cry mother, cry father, they will feel hurt ah? No lor – they will just go Bintan and relax, shake leg, lim kopi (since soon, they will no longer have Tiger Beer).

Don’t see our ministers teh gong, like blur blur, don’t know what our concerns are. They are actually very sneaky one OK. They just say a bit, a bit to make you angry. Ah then, wah, when you sibeh angry ah, you also damn one kind one lah. You also very funny lah – you forget everything. Suddenly there is no sun and no moon. There is only THE minister.

So yesterday PAP send Lawrence to post something damn kee siao one then wah, you all like never see ghosts like that, start to cry mother, cry father. I tell you ah, at the way you are crying all our forefathers and foremothers will all jump up from their graves and go to ZoukOut qiong ah. No need to think about whether to protect Bidadari Cemetery already.

So, yesterday, while you got distracted, URA told the big guys at Haji Lane, “Eh deh, we don’t like your graffiti. We want pastel colour. Pastel, get it or not?” Then lan lan, they have no choice. They keep quiet. Why? Because all you clowns you go and focus your attention on Lawrence. Eh, Lawrence more important or Haji Lane more important? You scold until your saliva no more, Lawrence will still be ok. He can go to Bintan relax, shake leg, lim kopi. But Haji Lane will be pastel colour! Get it or not, Singapolean? Haji Lane will be pastel colour?!

Which is more important, you tell me? Lawrence shoot one thing then go lim kopi? Or we go Haji Lane then after that can still shoot something else? Please lah, Singapolean, get your brain straight can or not? You want cry mother, cry father, can, by all means, cry until Chang E fly down from the moon. But when you cry father, cry mother at our ministers and forget that there are still larger issues to think about, wah then something damn wrong with your head, like scully got lorry langa your brain cannot think like that.

You want to get angry with PAP, can. But if you just keep thinking about who to get angry at, don’t blame them if your favorite place become like Chinatown. That time they clean until that place got town no more China, then now got China no more town, but still call Chinatown. Then next time Haji Lane no more Haji Lane, become Pastel Lane. And then, you will really cry mother, cry father. That time even Chang E will sit on the moon relax, shake leg, lim kopi.

So, wake up your f***ing idea lah, Singapolean. Want cry mother, cry father, don’t cry at the wrong people. Remember, what will they do? They will go to Bintan lim kopi. So you cry already then what? You want cry, you cry at the right thing. So either you cry father, cry mother that yours is too short cannot stand, or you cry to the kopi company tell them don’t sell kopi to the ministers. Otherwise, you jolly well remember that you still have a life to protect, and when you want to cry, you remember to cry about these things.

If not, then you better learn how to multitask! If you want to cry at our minister, make sure you also remember to cry to URA. Unless you want to live in Pastel Lane. Then you might as well go watch Care Bears.

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