PAP’s PR Company: Eh, Lawrence, it’s your turn now. We’ve written this posting. Go put it up on your Facebook.
Sim Ann: (whispers to Lawrence) Good luck to you. I got flak last week for doing it. Now it’s your turn.
Lawrence: But why me?
PAP’s PR Company: Because you are not Shanmugam. When you become the senior, then we will give you nicer things to put on your Facebook page.
Lawrence: But why not Chuan Jin?
Chuan Jin: Stand down, soldier. I am an army officer. Don’t pray pray with me.
PAP’s PR Company: Chuan Jin cannot. We have created his image to complement Boon Wan. The MND tag team.
Lawrence: F*** man. Sure will kana scolding. Then if I kana scolding how?
PAP’s PR Company: Don’t worry. We have everything planned.
(Lawrence rolls his eyes and asks his ka-gia to put the posting on his Facebook page.)
After all the flak…
Lawrence: How now? I told you people will shoot me liao. You think what they do to Sim Ann fake one ah?
PAP’s PR Company: Told you not to worry already. We have solution. Ser Luck!
Ser Luck: Huh? What now.
PAP’s PR Company: Go post this on your Facebook. Tell them PAP still calls the shot.
Ser Luck: Are you crazy? They are so angry and you want me to piss them off further?
PAP’s PR Company: Why else do you think we got you and these boys in? When people get angry, and they see all your faces, they will smile. You are here for a purpose – to look pretty!
Ser Luck: (protests) But you saw already. It didn’t work!
PAP’s PR Company: Eh…
Ser Luck: Some more I am semi-senior! I am from the 2008 batch!
PAP’s PR Company: Ah, that is why. Just like in the army, the officer takes all the credit. The recruit do everything. If anything goes wrong, the sergeant takes the flak. Get it?
Chun Sing: Wah someone down on his luck. No luck ah, Ser Luck?
PAP’s PR Company: Eh, Sing, don’t laugh. You are next.
Chun Sing: Huh? Me also have?
PAP’s PR Company: You will help us provide some comic relief. Remember? Kee Chiu?
Chun Sing: But wait, why do you get to make all the decisions?
PAP’s PR Company: Lan lan lor. Your PM hired us.
Chun Sing: Yam Keng, must be you right?
Yam Keng: Wait, I’m the good looking guy too!
Moral of the story: PAP, why you no change your PR Company?