Relationship 101: Is It Normal for My Girlfriend to Hit Me?

The dating scene has certainly become dirtier and more treacherous if the horrifying stories about gender-based violence that we hear every day from all over the globe are anything to go by.

What’s even more surprising is the fact that men are suffering real physical abuse at the hands of their women, which is contrary to what we’re used to. But is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me? This article discusses in detail this new phenomenon.

Is It Normal for My Girlfriend to Hit Me?

The answer is a straight no! It’s not normal for anyone to hit their partner no matter the situation. So, if your girlfriend is hitting, slapping, pinching, or doing anything that’s meant to hurt you, see it as a major red flag.

Any form of physical or emotional abuse should never be entertained in any serious relationship because it always ends badly. It doesn’t matter how much you love her. If she’s abusing you physically, it’s time to end things before you land in the hospital or morgue.

Sadly, many men are suffering silently at the hands of their women because they don’t want to look weak. So, they prefer keeping quiet about their abusive girlfriends or wives. Despite all the progress we’ve witnessed in the world over the last few decades in terms of technology, education, and civilization in general, society still sees women as “weaker vessels” and expects men to always show signs of strength and endurance.

That’s why men are always frowned upon or ridiculed when they come out to admit that they’ve been physically abused by their women. This kind of stigma pushes men to the darkest corners of emotional trauma because they don’t have anyone to share their feelings with.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCAD), cases of women abusing their men physically are at an all-time high, with one in four men reporting one form of physical abuse from his girlfriend or wife.

These cases involve different kinds of physical abuse, ranging from simple acts like slapping, and pushing to serious acts of physical violence like beating, biting, burning, strangulation, etc. NCAD reports that 1 in 25 men has been injured by his wife or girlfriend, while 1 in 7 men has been severely abused by his female intimate partner at some point in his life.

The coalition suspects that these numbers are even higher because very few men dare to open up about their abuse. But this problem is affecting even those men who appear to be physically fit and strong. Your girlfriend doesn’t have a right to hit you, no matter how stronger you look.

5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Hit You

Generally, aggressive behavior is conceptualized as a reactive way to deal with pain and frustration. But it can also be categorized as a defense mechanism, especially when you are responding to a perceived threat. Some behavioral experts also classify aggressive behavior as a proactive action initiated to dominate, threaten, bully, or control someone else.

Therefore, you should use these dynamics to analyze your girlfriend’s aggressiveness so that you can figure out the best step to take. As you analyze her behavior and try to understand why she is hitting you, always remember that most aggressors have multiple reasons for behaving that way. Some reasons such as defense and control can be closely related to psychological processes compelling your girl to act aggressively at a particular moment.

But no matter the reasons why she acts that way, it’s not okay. So, don’t normalize the abuse, especially if it occurs regularly. The best way to figure out the best cause of action is to understand why she did it, and here are the main reasons why your girlfriend might hit you.

1. Expressing Negative Emotions

Aggression is a way to express strong negative emotions like anger and frustration. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), 39 percent of the women who were arrested for intimate physical violence mentioned anger as the main cause of their violent behavior. Therefore, your woman might attack you physically when she has uncontrollable anger.

Sometimes she will hit you because someone else or something that is beyond your control made her angry. In other instances, you might do or say something that makes her furious, resulting in physical abuse. Regardless of what made her angry, your girlfriend should not use anger or frustration as a reason to hit you.

2. Self-Defense

Many women who have been arrested for abusing their men claim that they use physical violence to defend themselves against their abusive partners. It’s not surprising to learn that self-defense is a common motive for physical violence against men by their women because most women who are physically aggressive have experienced physical abuse from their male partners.

Aggressive women who do not mention self-defense as their main cause of violence against their male partners are the primary antagonists who are likely to cause more violence against their partners than they’ve ever experienced themselves. Most of these women have other motivating factors like uncontrollable anger or domineering tendencies. They usually cause more violence than women acting in self-defense.

On the contrary, women who use physical violence for self-defense are usually genuine victims. So, they become violent as a defense mechanism and in response to excess victimization. Therefore, it’s safe to say that the connection between self-defense and physical violence in women is somewhat rounded, with higher cases of violence against men being perpetrated by women whose aggression isn’t motivated by self-defense.

These women are usually in relationships that are mutually aggressive and in which both partners become physically aggressive without having control or dominance over the other. On average, mutually aggressive relationships are normally less violent than relationships where one partner is more physically aggressive than the other.

3. Control

Some ladies are known to use physical violence against their male partners as a way of gaining control over them. At least 38 percent of women arrested for abusing their male partners admitted that they threatened to become physical to control them. They also stated that they used violence to feel more powerful.

Aside from controlling their partners, some women also use physical violence against their intimate male partners to make them do or stop doing certain things, as well as make their partners agree with them. Others claim that they feel personally empowered when they behave in an aggressive manner against their male partners.

While some women use violence to assert their authority over their male partners, others say they are aggressive because they feel like they lack control over themselves and their emotions. The latter group attributes their aggressiveness against their men to a loss of self-control, especially when their partners provoke them or push them over the edge. They insist that they become aggressive because they don’t know what to do with their feelings at that moment.

4. Acting Tough

Some women use physical violence against their male partners because they are victims too. They attribute their behavior to their experience of physical violence from their male partners at some point in their relationships. Some have experienced coercive control or sexual violence.

Therefore, they use aggression as a tough guise to let their male partners know that they are not to be messed with. If your girlfriend belongs to this category, she may be hitting you to let you know that she means business and that you’ll suffer serious consequences if you try to hurt her. She wants you to take her seriously as well as make you feel intimidated by or scared of her.

5. Jealousy

Your girlfriend could be acting violently toward you because she is jealous of you. For instance, if you cheated on her with another woman who is prettier than her, she may become violent because she’s jealous. In other instances, she may become violent because she wants to prove to you that she loves you.